Tuesday, November 6, 2007

my family

Here is an email that I sent to my brother. It is fairly typical of what a night with the family produces. Absolute crazy.

The context of the email is this: about 15 years ago my brother was offered some pickled pigs feet by my grandpa. He took one...and took a bite. (which is enough to make most people stop reading, but please...read on). He nearly threw-up. The whole episode has become legendary. My little sister (who is 16) claims that not only was the entire family present at this little activity but that she vividly recalls the event. Which, if you do the math, means she remembers, with great clarity, something that happened when she was 1. So...in order to end the debate between us, i sent this email to my older brother. Hopefully he'll remember his own story and be able to lay the argument to rest.


pickled pigs feet...
when did you eat them?
have you eaten them more than once?
just recount the story to me.

we're having a bit of a debacle.
anna, seems to have remembered an event that may or may not have occurred. The rest of the family thinks she has completely lost her mind.
Dad, sides with her. But that is to be expected, because it has been evident for some time that he is completely insane as well.
Mom, has no opinion and cannot stop laughing...probably because she's nuts.
Amy left the room hours ago. She hates the family.
Mo won't let anyone pet him. He's freaked out by the whole thing. So freaked out that he shut his own pen. He wants no visitors.

Thanks,

Your brother (the one who knows the real pickled pigs feet story)

-joe

p.s. anna does not approve or endorse this message. paid for by the campaign to elect joe helt as ruler of all things dumb in the family. (which is entirely separate from the campaign to elect mark smiley...because my campaign understands the legal implications of the open door policy)


hope you enjoyed it.

-joe

3 comments:

Nigel said...

You are amazing.


Hey- I just remembered that I am expected to be at a Halo 3 tournament on Friday the 16th. I suck at checking my schedule before making plans. . . Would you be interested? Food, guy-time, rocket propelled grenades, 6 packs of b...soda?

Amy said...

as much as i'd like to deny that such exaggerated situations occur on a regular basis....there really is no rest from the insanity at our house when joe is home

Lauren said...

well yeah duh :) i wrote it like that because i got to share the gospel with my friend from korea who had never heard it... never! and as i was telling the story i was trying to think of what it must be like hitting his ears..